Thursday, February 27, 2014

Chivalry on the Slopes: How to Keep Your Skier Girl Satisfied

Recently, as I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I noticed an interesting article posted by one of my high school friends from the South. In the article, the author called for a return to the good old days of chivalry and it got me thinking. While the BF and I do very much love to ski with each other, sometimes we definitely do not. What wonderful things should our guys be doing to demonstrate these chivalrous values while on the slopes? AND what could they do to keep us happier as an end result :)

1. Ladies in the Middle
Guys - we get colder waaay faster than you do, so it would be nice if you let us sit inbetween you on chairlifts. That way we can soak up a bit of your warmth for ourselves. On that note, take the windy side, would you? You could protect my delicate self from the wind and take it all yourself.
And then maybe we could even snuggle...just a little?

2. It's My Gear, Damn it!!
As a woman, I am colder than you. That means that I will never be warm enough wearing a t-shirt and a ski parka like you are. Take me to the best shop and let ME work with the saleswoman so that I can be the warmest (and happiest) skier possible. Do NOT tell me how to dress...and definitely do NOT EVER presume that you know which skis and boots are right for me. Take me to the shop, but then let ME choose the skis & boots on which I feel the most comfortable not which ski you imagine I should be on. Maybe then I will let you pick out my poles? :)

3. Carry the Ladies' Skis
Unless I am crippled or 800 years old, I will be carrying my own damn skis! I will also NOT be carrying your poles in return, nor will I ask you to pick up my skis and put them into the gondola for me. This isn't chivalrous, it is insulting. If you want me to carry my skis up a mountain so we can drop that cornice or get that fresh snow, you better respect that I've probably been carrying my own skis since I was a little girl (and one pair on each shoulder while I was racing) and I can sure as hell carry them to the lift. -- But if I ask, could you please....

4. This is Not Your Fantasy Ski Trip
You cannot teach me how to ski. Period. This is not some fantasy where I am dressed as a little school girl for you to mold as you please (well, maybe sometimes). I am my own skier and the chivalrous thing to do would be to sign me up for a lesson - or accept me as I am. If you want a girl like that, I can recommend this website...

5. Let the Lady Drive
If we are talking about being chivalrous, I do NOT want to put my boots on in the car. Nor do I want to figure out how to make sure my hair looks good with my helmet in front of everyone in the base lodge. Therefore, let me drive with my boots, helmet & goggles on while you just sit there and stop complaining about my driving.

6. A Little Foreplay Goes a Long Way
I would really appreciate one run to get my body in order. That means starting the day out with a run on a warm lift, preferably a gondola, and then taking a blue or green cruiser to let my body loosen up. I never said we had to ski slowly, just give my spine a chance to get flexible. But I will be looser and more comfortable, and will therefore probably be much better at skiing...and other things.

7. Keep Her Skis in Tune
If yours skis are tuned, so should hers be. This does not mean you presume she can't tune her own - just that you let her know that you are tuning yours (or taking yours to the shop if you aren't man enough to tune your own). That way she can tune her own, you can tune hers or you can bring hers to the shop with yours. Nothing is worse than listening to a man brag about his edges holding when yours don't...

8. Hot Chocolate Break
This is pretty much a given if the weather is cold enough and the skiing is awesome enough that we stay out longer than two hours. The cocoa break should happen either at a beautiful little secret cove in the woods or at the most stunning lodge available where we can snuggle on the couch and enjoy the scenery. Let me sit on the couch while you get the cocoa (and maybe something stronger) and then make sure to snuggle with me to demonstrate how much you love skiing with me to everyone else in the lodge. This last bit is extremely important.

9. Ski Together
This one should be simple, but it is definitely the hardest. Most of us don't mind following our men around the mountain - in fact, watching my guy ski is one of my most favorite things in the world. But please do not presume that everything you want to ski is what I want to ski. Let me lead - who knows, maybe you will like to watch my ass swaying back and forth while I make turns. Maybe I even know a few little secret trails where we can both have a little fun...

Gentlemen - here is wishing you many happy days skiing with the love of your life ❤❤
May You Find the Spirit of the Mountains

1 comment:

  1. LOVE this - especially the "hot cocoa break." My husband does that for me; he has learned that a little break here and there go a long way for making it a good day for everyone ;)

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