I am admitting to my fear and saying it outloud.
I am Afraid of Missing the Snow.
as the winter snow predictors begin to prostelitize about when the first snowfall may or may not arrive in Killington.
Above 4000' at Killington Peak,
maybe at Mount Washington,
maybe at Jay...it doesn't matter.
If I can semi-logically deduce that there is even a 5-10% chance of snow in the area, the symptoms come rolling in and the anxiousness takes over my entire body.
as I get way too overexcited about even the possibility of
playing in the snow.
And then my brain,
my way too over intense brain,
starts kicking in.
How much snow will it be?
Will there be enough snow on which to ski?
Where should I go to have the best chances of the most snow?
If I have to be at work by 9am, then I should be leaving the house by...
Which skis will be the most appropriate?
Do I know where my goggles are?
What about my ski socks?
Will I be able to get any sleep?
Will there be anyone else up there?
Will I have to share?
Maybe I should get up earlier?
Which ascent will be the sexiest?
Will I sleep through my alarm clock?
What if I don't have enough time to ski before work?
What if I miss the snow?
Because I never leave town in the winter.
That way, it won't snow when I'm not here.
I manage a backcountry ski shop.
So...if I am running a wee bit late,
my bosses are stoked because I was out playing in the snow.
because I have never, ever, slept through my alarm on a "powder" day.
In fact, I barely get any sleep at all.
I will toss and turn,
glancing around the window curtains in hopes of catching a glimpse of
some snowflakes falling in the night.
I will fluff my pillow over and over again,
vain attempts to stop the ski dreams from entering my head
just long enough to get some sleep.
Chances are that I will finally give up grying top sleep by around 4:30am,
watching Vespi to see if she is awake yet.
Most of the time, she has her nose on the bed,
asking if it is time to go yet.
I love her :)
in the fall and sometimes the winter,
there isn't any snow on the ground when I wake up.
Like this morning.
Somehow, I had gotten it into my head that it would snow above 4000 feet in Vermont.
I don't know...I guess I was just hoping that If I told enough people, if I told myself enough, that I could just will the snow into falling.
But I couldn't.
I bounced up out of bed this morning,
like I do every morning when the possibility of snow has entered my thoughts,
I had a dream a few nights ago where it all seemed so real.
I had opened the bedroom door to let in the early morning sunlight
glistening off the white covered ground.
I dreamed up glitter snow.
It was so real, so gorgeous.
There is a wonderful peace that comes
when the world is covered in that blanket of white.
But not this morning.
Probably not any morning in September.
Just stupid, beautiful foliage.
And I wonder...
is this what Blue Balls Feels Like?