Saturday, January 14, 2012

Is this what Detox Feels Like?

Today was a Powder Day.

After what seems like months and months of desperate waiting, pathetic attempts at snow dances, toast upon toast to various available ski gods and snowmakers, and day after day of the classic east coast hardpac of my childhood memories, we finally have snow in Killington. Trees that have stood with only themselves for company are finally filled with generations of yahoos, searching for that great powder shot. Tele skiers are dropping their knees, silently bragging about the thigh deep powder while bros are hip checking their smeared turns to get theirs. The howling winds of the night before brought beautiful and deep drifts of snow that would make even a west coast skier grin with delight.

For the first time in a long, long time, I was missing the powder day.

I knew they were there. Thousands of skiers and snowboarders on holiday enjoying my mountain. I saw the proof on twitter, on facebook, on blog after blog. Happy people enjoying a wonderful gift from mother nature. They deserved it.
My heart was pounding in my chest. The hair on my skin was standing straight up. I could feel the tingles down my spine and my heart begin to race. The excitement of yesterday afternoon's snowfall meant that my body and soul were prepared to ski today.

But there would be no turns for me today. No float, no glide, no skiing.

If I closed my eyes, I could feel myself floating, could feel the cold air nipping at my face, could feel the powder. The hair on my skin would stand on end and I would have to focus on calming down my breathing, a need to retake control of my body. There was a need...a need to ski, a need for speed, a need to be drifting and dodgingand feeling the flow of turn after turn in a powdery winter wonderland. Another deep breathe and I could see the sun breaking through the clouds.
My boyfriend texts me a photo of himself out on the mountain, playing, laughing, skiing our favorite lines through the trees. Lines that I have dreamed about since last winter and have yet to taste. Why aren't I out there? I can feel my body aching, yearning, begging for just one run out in the snow. Each breathe became labored and I tried to calm myself down. I lied to myself. Tried to find reasons why today was not awesome. A Deep Breathe. And then another one.
I would gaze out the window at the fluffy white snow in the parking lot -

And the pattern would start all over again.

May You Find the Spirit of the Mountains Within You,

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